Cleaning Moves Ahead in Playoffs

For the second time, #1 and #2 attacked homeschooling like Dagwood attacks a sandwich, leaving me plenty of energy and attention span to cover #3’s schoolwork credibly.

This is very, very good news, since Mr. W signed up to rejoin the Food Co-op, which means there will be a pick-up across town once a week and across two counties at least once a month. Saturday school has ceased to be optional.

The folks that usually lead Sunday Night Bible/Sermon discussion will be out of town this week, and have asked if it can be held at our house. Sure, says I, pretending I didn’t just notice (again) the hair along the edge of the bathroom floors, the crayola colors on the various ceilings, and where the cat has scratched through the couch. Thursday and Saturday afternoon have just become Cleaning Hours. (I have a student over Fridays.)

Four couples, two teensagers, two toddlers (better get the gunk off the baseboards!), and a newborn (Need a quiet place to feed Baby? Sure, my bedroom’s clean!) plus the five who already live here. Five chairs in the newly-rearranged living room.

Good thing it’s a God thing- I’m gonna need a miracle to pull this off.

Weather or Not We Should Melee

Never one to avoid jumping on a trend so late that I will be labelled a “social climber”, I decided to continue stretching my imagination with another Theme Melee. Following a home-made iced coffee and 3 viewings of “Day After Tomorrow”, my courage is gathered enough to take on The Weather.

Check it out at http://fracas.wordpress.com !!

The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate. Using the weather for small talk. My trend-tagalongs may be ridiculous, but weather-bashing as conversation is as inane as a PBS special on “Madonna’s Fashion History”. Moreover, rather than simply bleating about the inanity, I recommend a new topic: the superiority of concrete to gravel for driveways.

The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent, or bogus. Weather predicters using scare tactics pre-storms to raise viewership. Hello, if we’re all in long lines buying water, batteries and 2×4s, the only video we’re seeing is J. Timberlake on the Stuff-Mart Channel, not your forecasts! (Don’t get me started on a boy whose career is maintained by the Stuff-Mart Channel…)

The Malcontent: Name something you are unhappy with. We need a sequel to “Day After Tomorrow”, that takes place in deserts and volcanoes. It’s such a cooler to watch “DAT” in the heat, but whatever shall I watch come January?

The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can. Mom, thanks for running those scratchy lengths of yarn along the inside of my winter coat and clipping the mittens to either end when I was a little kid. It was nice to be the only kid at the bus stop with warm fingers.

The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it. I got over weather-prissiness when I had to choose between swaddling Baby #1 and digging up gloves for myself during a snowy visit to Kentucky.

The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for. Someplace organized, pretty and easily accessible for my 3 kiddos’ gloves, mittens, and earmuffs. It is a bit dreary to be trying to resituate said items as I unpack in mid-July…

Final Four Season

Who will win the Scheduling Playoffs?

Thorough Housecleaning hasn’t had a stellar season so far, but it’s backup players, Guilt, Hygiene, and Visitors, could save the day.

Painting Touch-ups, the local favorite, has been steadily gaining ground the whole season. Will they finish with a complete record of wins?

Out of nowhere comes the aggressive Homeschooling 3, which has consumed the headlines for almost two weeks. Talk about wearing down the opposition- Mom’s Energy needs help, folks!

But let’s not forget Once-A-Month Cooking. This time last year, they were barely on the horizon, but they have been a crowd favorite for six months now and those goals count.

Looking at the coming weeks, all we can say is, “It’s gonna get rough!”

The Monday (Say It with Lyrics!) Melee

fracas Monday Melee

Monday Melee:Say it with lyrics

The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate. “I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.” (My discipler sang, more accurately, “I surrender Some….”)

The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent, or bogus. “Don’t cry for me, Argentina. The truth is, I never left you. All thru my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise- don’t keep your distance.” (Sung by my first ex-fiance)

The Malcontent: Name something you are unhappy with. “Say it’s only a paper moon, sailing over a cardboard sea. But it wouldn’t be make-believe if you’d believe in me.” (Mr. W’s voice, naturally)

The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can. “And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free. And I’ll gladly stand and thank the men [and women] who gave that right to me.” (My mom’s voice, an ex-servicewoman herself)

The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it. “The dream’s alive, with my eyes open wide. Back in the ring, You’ve got me swingin’ for the grand prize. I feel the hate is spittin’ vapors on my dream, but I still believe.” (Christian rap artist TobyMac)

The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for. Sorry, don’t know the Anthem of Puerto Rico.

Myth Green

My kitchen is now an amazing green. Mr. W took the kids to their orthodontist appointments this morning, then to the local library, and walked back in to Myth Green walls. I had a blast painting them, doing the edges correctly first, then rolling.

Mr. W hates the color. That makes me even happier- re “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”, he will get used to it.

The color dried even darker than I expected, which is a very, very good thing. Rootie described the color as “like Jordan almonds”, to give you an idea. I’m looking forward to adding the sea-like curtains, painting the countertop canisters, and finding little ocean-y things to hang on the walls. Hmmm, if I can find that mother-of-pearl cross Rootie gave me for Christmas, it’ll look great!

Strangely (like Jordan almond green walls aren’t strange enough) I think my mom used to have the same color kitchen. My bad memory “zings”, but doesn’t present clear facts, when I deja vu that color. The color also makes me think of airplanes for some reason, but let’s not go there, OK?

Happy sigh.

oops

Well, Dr. B (the principal) can’t seem to get the test administrators to schedule the 2 tests this week- or even answer his call. It’ll be soon, really. Um, but he can’t pay teacher wages until the tests are graded, he can only pay substitute wages (less than half) until then.

Oh, yes, Mr. W must still attend those meetings- but he won’t be paid for them. Oh, yes, Mr. W must still start actual classes the first week of August, but he will only be considered a substitute- no benefits, half pay- until the tests are graded.

The usual time between taking the tests and having them graded, thank you Fulton F*ing County, is 4-6 weeks.

Did I mention I asked Mr. W to go to a temp agency last week? No need, he assured me- last year’s paychecks would cover us nicely until Dr. B’s first check.

Did I mention I asked him to go to a temp agency (after a MASSIVE fight) this morning? “Why?” asks Mr. W. “They’ll only schedule me for days when I have to be in meetings or taking tests.”

Finally Mr W agreed to fill out the forms he brought home last week from the temp agency. After he got on the phone and caught up on all the family news. After he made sure the new rose was watered thoroughly. (Wouldn’t want a little thing like a paycheck to stand in the way of the new rose flourishing.) He got in the car and drove away.

I wonder whether he went to the temp agency, or just to a coffee shop to read the paper and take his time filling out the forms? He didn’t take a resume or transcript with him….

I am Hereby Unpacking

Mr. Wonderful is taking the tests that proves to the State that he can 1.speak English correctly to his students and 2.do enough math to score their tests correctly ON AUGUST 4!!

He has also been assured that he will be scheduled for French basic skills tests (Written and Oral) by Friday. Once he passes the French tests, he will get a job offer from Local County, attend training from July 30-August 3 (for which he gets paid $300), and receive a written contract for employment.

BIG BIG sigh of relief.

We started homeschooling today. I went out for an iced coffee. I’m praying for someone inexpensive to install track lighting in the master bedroom, and wondering WHO is going to unpack ALL those boxes…..

Return of the Monday Melee!

I Cannot Believe I haven’t Melee’d since June! I’ve really been enjoying fracas’ creativity, too, but haven’t moved my arse to spread the enjoyment around. ‘Course, with an arse the size of mine, that’d be a lot of spread!

Check it out at http://fracas.wordpress.com !!

The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate. Rude truck drivers. We have an industrial park next to the library and a truck stop near my house (including a cutesy McDonald’s “McStop” sign 6 stories tall). My ‘little’ minivan has right of way over your 18-wheeler when you pull out into the road, goobers. Size does not make right. And no, I never use the minivan to intimidate passenger cars.

The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent, or bogus. Mr. W’s hypochondria. Thankfully, after 11 years, I can see it coming, grab the kids, go out for ice cream, and be back after it’s over.

The Malcontent: Name something you are unhappy with. The amount racked up on our 2 credit cards. Even typing that sentence gave me the shudders.

The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can. Has to go to Rebekah again, who got up smiling from her nap when the kids and I showed up 2 hours early last night. (Mr. W had talked with Mr. Rebekah, then cellphoned me with “Go on over as soon as you’re ready.”) With a 6-month-old, sleep must be pretty precious to her, but she never even gave me a “WTF?” look.

The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it. I welcome advice.

The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for. A fabric store with huge variety, good prices, discounts for teachers, and right here in my town (the new Shoppers’ Paradise of the county). The nearest is 1 hours’ drive, and when we arrive, the kids are ready to run, not stand quietly whilst mom looks at 5 shades of blue moleskin.

Job Hunt Update

The local county proctor emailled, “Send me a list of dates you cannot take the test on.” To which Mr. Wonderful emailled, “There is no such day. Sign me up on any day you like.”

Mr. W. also has to get a waiver from the Board of State Standards to teach without having jumped through all the usually-required hoops, but I haven’t heard anything about when they meet, whether he has to do the requesting, or whether the principal is in charge of that.

Mr. W. did try to call Ft. Lauderdale and Texas again today, and left messages with secretaries in both places, but they have not returned his calls all week.

I can’t say we have done everything possible to get a paycheck in this week- for example, I taught at VBS and put down flooring, rather than filling out applications. Mr. W worked on the shed and visited an old friend as well as making phone calls, but a temp agency application has appeared in the van, and I didn’t put it there.

So, if all his applications fall through, do you think I’m responsible for getting a job? What if he only works on getting a job for 20 hours a week- is the modern opinion that I should find a part-time something? A full-time something? If that is enabling, do I explain to the kids that we don’t have bread because of the Head of the Household, or is that undermining authority?

There is not one thing I can do to make a 37-year-old, 300-pound man look harder for work, if he wants to nap or make a back-porch table instead. So what am I supposed to do? I am already praying and waiting on the Lord, thank you, while I am watching him put another $1000 on the credit card.

Last time I approached the elder I knew Mr. W would listen to, I was hysterical and threatening to pack up and leave. I would rather go a more dignified, rational route, but how, specifically? “Mr. Elder, my husband is taking a nap. Could you please tell your boss you need to take time of from work to come chew out my husband?” So far as I know, I’m not even supposed to call men, except for business purposes, and this is pretty personal. “Mr. Elder, I would like you to ask Mr. Wonderful if he’s doing all he can to get a job, and please don’t believe him if he says ‘Yes’”.

That sounds terribly surreal- it makes my head spin with questions about, “Isn’t that obviously backhandedly complaining about my husband? Manipulating Mr. Elder or trying to order around Mr. Elder?

Mr. Wonderful would say, “But my paycheck did get into the bank this very day- there’s no problem for another 4 weeks, and the local county school will probably have it all straightened out by then. Why is Wifey worried? Where is her faith?”

Am I going mad?

Wheee! That was fun!Our team- Paula and I were co-leading, but I told Paula I was going to be pushy, had ten 7-and-8-year-olds. They each made a craft bag (I stuck a styrofoam crown on my nametag and a shooting star to my ear), played dodgeball, ate bread-with-honeybutter and drank milk (a land flowing with milk & honey, get it?), learned Ephesians 4:25, listened to a missionary talk about building an orphanage in the jungles of Guatemala, and get rewarded with lollipops. They were very good kids!Darcy seems to be doing well, the snack ladies were patient as I asked for cups of water, and my kids had a blast. Tomorrow we may get to bring home a pair of sisters that we like a lot- their mom is catering a party.Mr. Wonderful called the schools, and got some “Wait”s and a “Mostly Yes”. The local public school requires him to take 2 GACE tests- Basic English Skills and Basic French Skills. He is required to take them on the same day. The next tests are scheduled for July 25. (Classes begin August 6.) Sadly, the man who proctors the tests is on vacation until the 20th. Also, the French and English tests have been scheduled simultaneously, so there is no way he can take them both on the 25th. Yes, it is a requirement for his employ. The principal that explained the requirement said, “Get a hold of the test proctor, and let me know what he says.” Mr. Wonderful didn’t get anywhere with the proctor’s assistant- she’s not telling how to get hold of him while on vacation! And he was not permitted to talk with the proctor’s boss, either.I made myself a glass of iced coffee anyway, and put new linoleum in the entryway. I wish there was a sealant to put between the tiles- a couple of them have hairline spaces, and I’d rather that not get worse over the next several months. What’s left? Touch up the ceilings in every room, waterproof the front and back porches, paint the girls’ room white on three walls, touch up the spare bedroom.I, for one, am ready for the summer to end.