I’m learning a lot at Omega Women Untie! At first I thought Alpha Moms were just moms whose kids were in a lot of activities. Following a link on Because It’s Personal, I read an article about Alpha Moms’ motivations. Sounds pretty innocent- they want to do momhood “well”, and have been, in all other previous areas of life, high achievers.
The article follows an Alpha Mom with a 2-year-old (I believe). I have questions.
When and how does an Alpha mom deal with the emotional and spiritual aspects of her children’s lives? Grown-ups can supress or delay or resolve stresses and conflicts. Who is teaching these kids how to cope with hormones, haunting questions about eternity, and Who am I?
Please don’t tell me it is the kids’ teachers. I’m a teacher. You pay me (as your taxes pay all teachers) to teach academic subjects, not emotional lifeskills. You couldn’t pay me enough to teach 30 kids at once, each year, how to cope with crushes, drug pushers, insecurity issues, and the innate desire EVERYONE has to be loved unconditionally.
In Edwardian England, the nanny was followed by a governess. Back then, moms could have a bit more confidence that any governess they hired would have pretty close to the same moral base as the nuclear family, so all moms had to interview for was academic knowledge, and references “Do you know a Proper Noun from a Proper Curtsey? Lady Wimberly says you don’t steal. You’re hired.”
How do Alpha Moms protect themselves from finding out their governess/nanny has been teaching the kids that Sally D ought to be legalized, or that Communism is a better form of government than Democracy, or anything that seems would be anti-Alpha Mom’s values? I hear echoes of Rachel Lynde’s dire warning about adoptees from Anne of Green Gables “She set fire to the house! Burned to a crisp- right in their beds!”
How do moms that turn their kids over to someone else to raise for a majority of each week assure the family’s values, even loyalty to their own family over loyalty to another organization, will be instilled in their child?
My dad told me a few years ago George Bush expected him to alert the Homeland Security if I did anything suspicious. (My dad watched a lot more news programs than I do.) My dad compared that idea to Hitler expecting the Nazi Youth to turn in their parents, or the USSR expecting to be informed on by your family, if a family member said ANYTHING “unpatriotic”. I do know homeschoolers have had their daughter put in foster care in Germany, partially because the daughter was being taught to value her parents’ beliefs above the state’s.
I do know we were threatened with a $100 fine for taking our exchange student to a family reunion, because we took her out of school the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday before Thanksgiving break, and although we were viewed completely as her parents, our school district has taken the parents’ rights away to decide how many days their child is in school. (She was making, and continued to make, through the rest of the year, straight As in all subjects.)
But back to the original subject.
The Alpha Mom in the article had at least one lady whom the write called “an Alpha wannabe” or some such thing, who was doing nannyish things. I got the impression that Alpha Mom, also an executive, was having her secretary do things like babysit kiddo. I’ve been an executive assistant. That kind of thing still happens (“Pick out a birthday present for my wife, and have it delivered.”), but only if the assistant puts up with it. (Don’t get me started.)
When I teach a foreign language, I avoid a bunch of the “school words” most texts include. I tell my students they will be in school for about 16 of their potential 86 years of life. Looking at the long term, they need words like “email”, “gasoline”, and “hotel” a lot more than “ink”, “desk”, or “record player”. When Alpha Moms plan, do they look at retirement years? What if they become disabled? Will their child want to care for them, know how to care for anyone?
This is not an attack. It’s a subject that is new to me, a lifestyle that is new. My background in psychology makes me wonder…
