The Monday Melee

Check it out at http://fracas.wordpress.com/read/the-monday-melee !

The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
Snoring. Yep, I do it, too.

The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fradulent, or bogus.
The Coca-Cola Museum. They are opening a new museum in April and are thus not maintaining the old one. It shows. But they are still charging full price to see run-down exhibits.

The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
The advancing victory of gravity, as witnessed in the lack of cross-my-heart support in all my current unders.

The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Rebekah, smiling at all her visitors in spite of only getting 30 minutes of sleep when the baby came 3 weeks early this Wednesday.

The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I am pretty generous.

The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
An “outdoor living room”, complete with oven and grill, potted plants, and hammock in one corner.

An Elephant in the Living Room

There are several more Psalms I need to read to finish my February assignments for “Read thru the Old Testament in 1 Year”, but I managed to get in a couple hours of Leviticus, a nap, and then finished Leviticus.
During the year, I usually tease people that Leviticus is a great way to beat insomnia. Reading it this month proved how wrong I can be! Chapters 19 and 20 stabbed my conscience, put me on my knees in confession. Moreover, I’ve been praying all Christians would read it and heed it. Here’s a sample:

19:1-3 The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them, ‘Be holy, because I, the Lord your God, am holy. Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God.

19:19 Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seeds. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

19:28 Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.

19:32 Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord.

Chapter 20 speaks about improper relations ( to the point of the death penalty) between people, and even with animals.

What astounds me is that nice, churchgoing American Christians (including me, sometimes) will fuss and fume over people who disobey half a verse, then cheerfully demand the freedom to disobey the other half themselves! Many, many of these laws are attached to the death penalty- others, to banishment from “your people”. Yes, Christ fulfilled the Law. Yes, everything is permissible to us (but not everything is beneficial). But all the above laws are in the same chapter, the same context. According to this chapter of the Word of God, it is just as wrong to disrespect your mother or father or any elderly person as it is to commit adultery or practice sorcery or homosexuality.

I suppose I ought to break my astonishment into 3 parts. First, I am astounded that we (including me) pick and choose which Law we will obey, then declare ourselves righteous before God.

Second, I am astonished that we cry “Foul!” when other believers break some laws, but remain silent/approving when they break other laws. I only know a small handful of Christians who believe homosexuality is OK, but I know at least 40 who believe tattoos are OK. And I don’t know ANY Christians who believe that clothing made of 2 materials is NOT okay. But all these are in the same context in the Word!

Third, I am astounded that we cry “Foul!” when a nonbeliever breaks any of these laws. Nonbelievers, the New Testament tells us, are slaves to sin. How can they help but break these laws? We should be astounded whenever they OBEY the Laws of God!

What am I missing, why do I see an elephant in the Christian community’s livingroom when no one else does?

Poof!

In a blink, vacation is over.

Today wasn’t easy- there are no less than 6 “events” occuring downtown this weekend, so parking was its own adventure. Everyone was quieter, since we were all tired on this 9th day of sightseeing.

Mr. Wonderful was, understandably, tired, and tried to back out of today’s touristy thing. We compromised- we will stay home all afternoon tomorrow, turn off the phones, and move slowly. (I have 3 more loads of laundry, trash to collect, dishes, and meals to create, but I can do them all slowly, so I don’t mind. Thank You, God, that I live in a time of electric dishwashers, clothes washers, dryers, and kids’ entertainment. And coffeemakers.)

I do believe every single one of us- 13 in all- got to do at least one activity they really wanted to do. Every single one of us got to take home a souvenir (OK, mine was a doggie bag from the great Mexican restaurant, the entirety of which Mr. Wonderful ate for dinner tonight. Not having to cook dinner was worth ‘losing’ the souvenir!) No one was seriously injured (a nosebleed, a scraped wrist, two blisters).

No arguments with touristy place employees, no arguments between family members that lasted more than 2 hours, no traffic tickets, no missed buses, planes, events, belongings or children.

It restores my faith in humanity.

Waiter, there’s a gauntlet in my soup!

SW’s family and my family are doing a ‘local vacation’ to get ready for our trip to Washington, DC in April. Now, I have known SW for 2 years- work with her to supervise 4-year-olds, go to women’s meetings together, have a meal together every couple of months. I am looking forward to getting to know her better, and her 2 daughters.

SW is sitting in the orthodontist’s office last week and strikes up a conversation with a lady who moved to our town about a month ago from 1000 miles away. Astoundingly, SW invites this lady to all the local vacation spots with us. We meet this new lady (and her preteen daughter) at the zoo Monday. She is friendly, I am friendly. SW invites her to fly up and meet us in DC!

SW just went off the charts on ‘outgoing’ and ‘friendly’. My head is spinning.

It would be easier if I didn’t like this new lady (Ya is her name). It would be LOTS easier if I didn’t feel sympathy for Ya, being new, or understand that, as a Christian, SW is doing what is right, and I should support her. In fact, without Ya’s encouragement, I probably wouldn’t have made it up to the top of the mountain yesterday.

I have never, ever met a person at a place of business and made a friend. I have never, ever, pursued a friend, and I am always astounded that people pursue a friendship with me. Like my mother, I pursue family as friends. 4 is enough friends for a lifetime, in my understanding (and since I have 3 kids, and RootieToot…).

To look at the future and see Ya as a close friend blows my mind. Not because she isn’t nice, or interesting, or any reasonable thing, but because I didn’t want a new close friend. Dear God, getting a little closer to SW seemed like a challenge; and now Ya, too? Can this be the plan? Can this be what life will be in a year, for the rest of my life?

Ahh! I remember this feeling! My first two kiddos were girls. When I was pregnant for the third time, I assured my husband it would be another girl. “God wouldn’t do that to me- the challenge of having a boy, as well as the challenge of having 3″, was my reasoning. Even after the ultrasound, I was sure the picture was wrong, not the reasoning. (I love my son!)

I’m going to go drink a little merlot, have a little cry, and wake up content to obey the call, the challenge. You watch, in 6 months, I’ll be glowing, I’ll be so glad I let God direct these days, and not my traditional idea of friendmaking!

Vacation: No Brain Necessary

People have told me for years I think too much. To which I reply, “It’s homo sapiens, ‘thinking man’, not homo couch potatois!”

Granted, in my opinion, a brain orgasm is almost as satisfying as the other kind. Especially since I’m monogamous about the latter, but not the former.

Is it the lack of control or the lack of mind exercise that is weirding me out about this vacation? About the past couple of months?

We climbed Stone Mountain yesterday. Just under 3 miles. 7 kids, ages 5 months old to 12. 5 adults. Oldest daughter did not complain a bit. Definitely a team effort to get us all to the top, to get me to finish the climb, since my brain was warring with my legs, and I have done almost no exercise for several months. I did say my idea of a good vacation includes exercise.

We got up to a spectacular view (past the warning fence), and I remembered I’m afraid of heights. The view from the top was exhilarating- I stared for at least 3 seconds. Same leg tingle, no orgasm. Don’t want to repeat that one.

There was No Way I was going to quit and disappoint my kids, teaching my kids to quit when it gets hard or scary.

Soapmaking for GreenHuggers

A chemistry question: Whenever we watch those BBC “Historical Reality” videos (Manor House, Texas Ranch House, 1940s House), the women complain about the body soap and shampoo not cleaning well. What is in modern shampoos that works so much better than lye and ash, or whatever the old recipe was?

Dream Life- Monday through Saturday

Mr. Wonderful and I wake up at 6 and exercise for an hour. On nice days, walking our property’s forest path. On bad days, aerobics with a Richard Simmons tape, or the treadmill.

He showers for work whilst I turn on some quiet classical and/or Christian instrumentals on the CD player, make a healthy breakfast for the family, and wake up the kids. They cheerfully and quickly do the “Big Four” (brush teeth, brush hair, get dressed, make beds) and we sit down to a good meal together. Mr. Wonderful leaves for work (of course he loves his job, it pays well, and he has complete job security). The kiddos start their inside-the-house chores. I clean up the table, start the lunch casserole in the crock pot, and set out the home school assignments.

By 8:30, the kiddos and I have settled around the table for school. I knit, do a little filing, or some other chore, available for questions. We do spelling, history, and science together, reveling in stories and learning. At 10, I set out a fresh fruit snack, and put the plates in the sink by 10:20. We finish school at 1. One kid puts away the schoolwork of all whilst the other two set the table and serve the casserole.

By 2, we settle down for a Quiet Hour- reading, praying, or thinking. In good weather, on the back patio or screened-in porch. In bad weather, by the fireplace or stretched out on various living room furniture. (On Mondays, we go into town and do any chores until 4. On Wednesday, we tutor, or help families from our church in some other way.) About 3, we finish chores and play”. “Play” might be actually playing/exercising indoors or out, volunteering locally, making a long-term project (a treehouse, a set of Victorian costumes, Christmas gifts, a solar generator).

Mr. Wonderful comes home at 4 and, after he changes, we all do the chores of our small farm- 2 goats, 4 hens, a rabbit, a cat, a dog, an herb garden, a vegetable garden, an acre of forest, a lawn. He and our son continue to work, either in the wood shop or on the farm, whilst our two daughters prepare dinner. On alternate days, each daughter cooks whilst I get a shower and then lend a hand (under their supervision). The alternate daughter cleans up the table after dinner.

Evenings, we pray together, then go to a meeting, visit with friends, volunteer, plan, talk together, read, or play a sport, instrument or game together. Saturday nights each kid invites a friend to dinner and fun, and possibly to sleep over. We may watch a video from the library on these nights.

Good-nights and prayers are said by 9, possibly followed by up to 2 hours of reading or writing quietly in bed, and Mr. Wonderful and I catching up with each other and discussing any issues. By 11, I set the alarm for another wonderful day, snuggle under the quilt, and fall into a dream.

the twilight zone

we officially started vacation last night. so i brought home fried chicken, chips, and cokes.
today we went to the movies (Bridge to Terabithia) and ate at Taco Bell.
tomorrow, a museum and a ride on public transit.

i like holding my kids’ hands. i have wonderful kids, even if two of the three have misbehaved in startlingly extreme ways this week. why don’t they come with a manual?

due to cramps, i have taken a couple of large white painkillers. it’s working nicely, and nothing else needs to work whilst a family is on vacation.

Who’s in Here, Anyway?

Can you believe the budget for DC stands at $900 per family? (Without the snazzy Residence Inn penthouse, of course.)

Mr. Wonderful and I start Winter Break tomorrow (Thursday) at 6 p.m. I’m cooking Chinese on Sunday for my first surprise. Never tried making egg rolls before….. SW’s family invited some mutual friends to lunch at Local Luxury Gardens next Wednesday (Entrance is free on Founder’s Day). 16 mutual friends. SW’s family and mine make 8 more. That is about 20 more people than I am comfortable with.

SW stretches me. That’s scary, and good. At 44 I need stretching, lest I think I’ve already done it all, learned it all, no room for improvement, got it all under control.

And I would certainly rather be stretched by 20 mutual friends for lunch than, say, having a kid get pneumonia or cancer or the house burning down or something disastrous.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Move aside, Stephen King. Parenthood is scarier than anything you can dream up.

Growing up on a 2 x 1/2 mile island, my nightmares used to consist of the ocean rising until it flodded the only road home. Now I nightmare my kids into the flood. Only there’s always a kid missing.

Mr. Wonderful lived with an abusive dad. He and his siblings decided the beatings were lessened if you just stood still and didn’t respond in any way. That is now his knee-jerk reaction to all emergencies- stand still until it stops.

When she was 5 and couldn’t swim, our oldest daughter decided to jump onto a raft in Aunt T’s swimming pool. Aunt T and Mr. Wonderful were talking poolside, I was upstairs napping. After the raft slipped from under our oldest daughter, she sank to the bottom. Mr. Wonderful gaped, Aunt T jumped in and saved oldest daughter.

In my nightmares, I am the only adult around with the 3 kiddos during the emergency. I am outnumbered by 3 kiddos. I do not like these nightmares.

Neighbor Boy was playing in his treehouse with Youngest Daughter and Son today. So far as I have been able to decipher, NB told Son “Come out of the treehouse or I will hit you with this baseball bat.” Son refuses, scared it is a trick. NB says to Daughter, “Hold this”, and she holds the bat whilst he climbs into the treehouse, then hands it up to him and climbs up, too, pleading, “Please stop. Please don’t.” as he advances on Son. !!! Son scrambles down and runs home.

They had been playing King-Queen-Dragon. Neighbor Boy decided, against Son’s wishes, that it was Son’s turn to be dragon. Were the subsequent threats merely part of the play? Will NB admit it if the threats weren’t part of the play? (And what about NB’s comment to Son, as Son was shutting the gate to their shed, “Don’t go in there- my dad has made a chemical in there that will send you to another planet.”)

Was Son, the youngest by 2 years (9,8,6) being wimpy? Did he decide this would be a good way to get my sympathy? Or was he really being threatened? If we talk with NB and his parents, and decide it was just a game, will Son cease opening up about things he feels are threatening? If we decide it was a real threat, Youngest Daughter will lose her almost-daily playmate. Will Youngest Daughter then resent Son?

I feel a nightmare coming on.